Ruin-scape: When Video Games Approach Reality

When most people comment that video games are getting more and more realistic, they mean that the graphics are stunning. This is not what I am going to rant about here.

I play this game called "Runescape", a MMORPG, as a way to ESCAPE reality for a while and relax. After dealing with annoying people in real life, the last thing I want is to deal with annoying people in a game.

But this is what happened in the game... I needed some information and I got a tip that this old lady living alone in the woods might have what I need. So I pay her a visit. Unfortunately, she is having trouble remembering the details of what I need to know, but she thinks that a nice cup of tea might help her remember. OK, so she wants a bribe. This is SOP for NPC's in most games. But she doesn't want regular tea, oh no, she wants nettle tea. So I go off and pick some nettles (hurting my hands until I purchased some gloves). I take the nettles to town (no stoves in the woods) and brew her some nice nettle tea. I go back into the woods and give her the tea.

Old Lady: "I only drink tea in my special cup."
Me: "Where do I find that?"
Old Lady: "Here it is."

She gives me the cup, I pour the tea into her cup. I give it to her.

Old Lady: "Oh, I only drink my tea with milk."

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

I had to go back to town, get a bucket, find a cow, milk the cow (it's strange that I can't buy milk at the store), put the milk in the tea and bring it back to her.

That really sours my milk.

Rave: Enjoy the Buffet

I just got the phone call, Warren Buffet has decided to give me $10 million dollars. I think it was a clerical error on his part, but I won't argue. Somehow this happened while he was donating $37 billion to Bill Gate's charitable foundation. He doesn't want to give the money to his children because he believes that too much money is a burden, not a gift. Warren, I am willing to take on that burden.

To put this in perspective, it is a mere pittance (0.02%) compared to the $37 billion he has set aside for the foundation. And combined with Bill Gate's wealth, the foundation will have over $60 billion at it's disposal. If this doesn't make your head spin, consider that the ENTIRE budget of the Red Cross is only $3.4 billion.

Bill...Warren, I'm so glad that we will be feeding starving children around the world. Um, is it selfish of me to ask that the next version of Windows be built solidly enough that I don't have to download a critical patch every week?

Digital Cameras

The problem my friends and family seem to have with their digital camera is they treat it like a magical picture box that has nothing to do with taking useful pictures.

This is what happens. I go out with a friend, we each take some pictures, then we say "hey, let's exchange pictures when we get home". "ok, great". I later realize that I am dealing with one or more of these people:

1. Hi-res Man

Hi-res man buys the latest camera, takes it out of the box, and sets it permanently to the highest 12.8 megapixel setting. When I get his pictures, they are 5 MB each. He says "you can throttle it back on your end if my camera is too good for you". I say "Did you see the picture in Sports Illustrated last week of the humming bird getting passed at the Indy 500? That was only 8.2 megapixels."

2. Snap-Happy Skippy

Snap-Happy Skippy buys a few 4 GB SD memory cards "in case one day I find myself unexpectedly on safari". He sends me 231 pictures from our trip to the mall. He says "Somewhere in there is an award-winning shot". I say "Did you really need 6 pictures of the guy behind the counter at Sbarro?"

3. Eddie E-mail

Eddie e-mail attaches all 231 of his 5 MB pictures individually to an e-mail and sends it to me. He sends it a few times, because he "got a weird message" when he sent it. I say "you can't send 2.2 gig of attachments. Can you put them on an FTP server?" He says "I'm not ordering flowers, I'm trying to send you my pictures.

That really bugs my shutter.

Bumper Stickers

What is it about bumper stickers that will lead a person to put something on their car that they would never say to another person?

I am fine with free speech, and many bumper stickers are amusing and/or make an interesting statement about the individual driving the car. But at least try to follow some general guidelines.

Here are a few examples of bumper stickers I have seen lately that I could do without:

1. The misanthrope
These are the bumper stickers that just seem to express hatred toward others. Many of these seem to have some basis in jealousy. One I saw last week was "My Maltese is smarter than your honor student". First of all, your main point is just to disparage parents who have the "my child is an honor student" stickers. Yes, those "honor student" stickers are probably a bit snooty but at least they are factual. Second, are you sure you want to brag about having a Maltese? Aren't they the little white show dogs with the high-pitched squeal? Third, you are advertising that your most cherished possession is your dog. We don't need to read that far between the lines to interpret that you are also probably saying "I am physically unable to have human children".

2. The political activist
Actually, I have no problem with these political bumper stickers. However, a few things should be noted. First, try to keep these up to date. For about $1, you can get a Kerry 04 sticker to put over your Gore 2000. (Yes, if Gore runs again in 2008 you need to spend another dollar) Also, a tip for you folks who are driving the Volvo or Prius with the Grateful Dead sticker. Don't bother with the anti-Bush sticker, because we already figured that out.

3. The bizarre
I saw a bumper sticker on Ashburn Village Boulevard last week that said "The sex was so good, the neighbor smoked a cigarette". I don't even know where to begin with this one, but let me just say I'm glad my kids were not with me in the car at the time.

4. The Creationist / Evolutionist
Please stop already with the fish and Darwin stickers. If you have one of these, you are saying one of two things. (1) I am a complete idiot who believes that God created all of the animals at the same time, or (2) I think it is fun to sarcastically ridicule the religious beliefs of others.

I'm not sure which of these is worse.

This really sticks my bumper.

Internet Quickies

No, I am not talking about what you do with your webcam in the privacy of your own home. I am talking about short little rants related to annoying website habits...

1) Websites that use your email address as your username. It is so annoying to have to type in a whole email address to access a webpage.

2) Printing a web page in IE. What a crappy interface.

3) Sites that have music that automatically plays when the page is loaded. I especially hate when the sound is for an advertisement.

4) Web sites that appear to only ask you for a little personal information before showing you results, like just your email address, perhaps. But after entering your email address, the site jumps to a new page (or several) asking for more information that you didn't expect them to ask for.

5) Web sites with tight entry form validation before it lets you continue. I once had a website reject my input because my street address was "invalid". I didn't even give a fake one! Apparently their checker couldn't find it in its database.

6) Web sites with animation mayhem. This is usually only found on amateur websites like Myspace profiles, etc. EVERY graphic is an animated graphic. I think I'm going to have a seizure.

7) Frames. Don't use them.

Dumb Dialog Boxes

And what, exactly, are my other choices?

Fading Receipts

The purpose of a receipt is to provide a customer with a record of purchase. It used to be that you could throw your receipts in a shoe box and look at them later when you needed to. However, many stores think that this record only needs to last a few weeks. They use crappy (cheap?) thermal paper receipts, which are quite useless. They fade and become unreadable very quickly.

Shouldn't it be fraud if a store requires a receipt for a return, but knowlingly provides a receipt that doesn't last the entire warranty period? I purchased a new battery for my car recently at Advance Auto Parts. It has a five year warranty. The sales representative actually suggested that I make a photocopy of the receipt because, "the receipt sure isn't going to last that long".

My favorite (*wink*) store, Best Buy, also has ridiculously pathetic receipts.

While I am at it, I am also getting fed up with receipt-checking at the exit and those long receipts filled with survey solicitations, coupons and other such nonesense.

Best Buy Sucks #2

I have found an interesting way to determine which companies are the worst. Look for Google hit counts for "xxxx sucks". Here are some results for several companies that I would rant about and several I would rave about. Can you tell which is which?

Microsoft (86,100 hits)
Cingular (17,700 hits)
Best Buy (13,300 hits)
Ticketmaster (696 hits)
Vonage (656 hits)
CompUSA (418 hits)
Taco Bell (281 hits)
Costco (234 hits)
Chipotle (48 hits)
Pixar (26 hits)
Wegmans (22 hits)

That really hits where it hurts.

Merchandise Pricing and the Surprise Discount

I recently purchased shoes that had a $65 price sticker. But, when I got to the cashier, they rung-up for $45. I went back to the display to see if I missed a sales sign, but I had not.

We all feel good when we end up paying less than we expected, but is this really a smart strategy for the stores? I had already made the decision to buy the shoes at $65, so they lost $20 in extra profit. What about the pair at the other store that I didn't buy because they were marked at $80, maybe they were really only $60?

Stores need to do a better job of providing accurate pricing for their products. It is also very annoying when no price is displayed. Many times I walk away without buying something because there is no price marked and I don't want to bother with waiting in line to find out the price.

That really doesn't add up right.

Unlucky Number 7

Names have been changed to protect the innocent...and the guilty...

The other day my girlfriend, Charlize, shocked me when she revealed that I was, in fact, number 7 in her cell phone speed-dial. My head was spinning as I soon discovered that I was in a situation far worse than what Jerry went through in that Seinfield episode.

What were the 6 phone numbers ahead of me?

1) 911 - Oh yes, she had 911 as her #1 speed dial. She defended this vehemently, "What if you were dying in the street and you only had enough energy to press one button?" I had a terrible vision of myself trying to get help after a car crash.... 9...... I die before I can type 1 1.

2) Voicemail - OK, I'm cool with that. Voice mail is a high priority.

3) Work Phone - Now, Charlize is not the kind of woman who gets after-hours phone calls on her work number, but fine, I'll let that slide.

4) Parents - Yeah sure, you gotta respect your parents. It's a rule of thumb - person who passed you through her uterus gets priority over boyfriend, anytime.

5) Bob - Oh no! Good friend and ex-boyfriend gets higher spot. This is not a good sign. "It's for historical reasons," she explains. Well, I guess it would be hard to remember that the person who used to be #5 is now #8. Guys, can you imagine a girlfriend letting you keep a female friend higher on the list than her?

I don't know if I can take any more of this. But I still have to deal with one more spot.

#6) Empty - WTF? WTF! There is an empty spot before me! I suppose this is just in case somebody more important comes along. Otherwise, if she had to demote me later from #6 to #7, it would be difficult to remember (see #5 for example).

#7) Me - There I am at #7, below the empty spot. I feel empty. I feel crushed. I feel my heart race. I can't stop it. I think I am having a heart attack. I need help! 9....1....ugh.

Note: She was #2 and #3 in my phone, but I think that I will be making some changes.

1-800-I-CANT-COUNT

I noticed a funny phone# on a public phone in the airport the other day...

1-800-USE-THE-VZ

But, that has 8 letters in it?!?! Yup, the Z is ignored. They are hoping that you start typing in the number, and then before you have time to be confused by the Z, you will already be on your way to making a collect call.

That really doesn't connect with me.

ABC Liquor

Over the weekend I went to pick up some liquor at the local ABC store. In Virginia, you have to purchase hard alcohol from the state run store. I asked the guy at the counter if they happened to sell bartender's spoons (I was thinking about making some layered shots). He leaned back, gave a loud hoot, and proclaimed, "Ha Ha Ha, no bartender tools, only liquor, Ha Ha Ha, no lemons or limes either, Ha Ha Ha..."

Screw you, Mr. ABC counter guy!

That really gives me a hangover.

Best Buy Sucks

A recent bad experience at Best Buy has pushed me over the edge, and I refuse to shop there any more. My girlfriend purchased a television and after we lugged it to her home (27" CRT - heavy and bulky) we found that it would shut off for no apparent reason. We lugged the TV back to Best Buy for an exchange. The new TV seemed to work, until it started to do the same thing after about 30 days. The problem is that the warranty was only good for 30 days. After arguing with the Best Buy folks that the TV was clearly defective when purchased, they agreed to send a technician to repair the TV. The technician who came knew exactly what the problem was. "It's the flyback transformer. This TV has a problem with that. We get this all the time." Well, the problem did not go away after the technician's "repair", so we went back to Best Buy to return the TV. They did not want to take it. Even though they were knowingly selling a defective TV, they hid behind their warranty limitations and did not want to take it back. Finally the agreed to an exchange for another TV. We said "Hell no" since we don't trust Best Buy for TV's anymore. Ultimately the best we could do was get them to allow an exchange for other merchandise. They would not give us store credit (we had to do the exchange THAT day) and they would not refund our money.

The worst part of the story was the Store Manager said that it was not possible for him to give us store credit or a refund. That the "system" would not allow him to issue a credit/refund. If he was lying, shame on him. And that is reason enough to never shop at Best Buy again. If he was telling the truth, then nobody should ever buy anything at Best Buy. Any store that does not empower the store manager to deal with customers is not fit to be in business.

That really blows my fuse.

Rave: Opus Dei

With the impending release of the Da Vinci Code movie (based on the bestselling novel), it is not surprising that there would be some stir over the controversial religious themes in the (fictitious) story. The conservative religious group Opus Dei, who is depicted as the villain in the novel, has asked Sony Pictures for a disclaimer to accompany the movie . It is a rare thing for me to praise a religious group for their response to a controversial situation, but in this case I am inclined to praise Opus Dei for their stance. They are not shouting outrage or asking people not to see the movie. They simply want to be treated with respect and not judged by a work of fiction. I, for one, tip my hat to them for not going off the deep end, as many religious groups seem inclined to do.

That really makes my (Opus) Dei!

Class Action Lawsuits

There might be no bigger farce at the moment in our society than class action lawsuits. The concept is a reasonable one - have a company suffer punitive damages for a situation where they were negligent and caused injury or financial loss to their customers. But the system is a joke, and the upshot of these affairs seems to be millions paid to lawyers, nothing to the injured party, and a slap on the wrist to the corporation.

Here is how these typically work:
1. A company imposes a fraudulent fee of $4.95 to 12 million customers over a 5 year period.

2. A class action lawsuit is filed.

3. The way you happen to find out about this is when you see an advertisement in small print on page 55 of TV Guide that says "If you stayed at a Sheraton hotel between August 1993 and May 1998, paid an "Administrative" fee, and have all of your receipts, you might be entitled to participate in a settlement."

4. You spend 3 hours going to a website and/or calling a phone number to find out that no information is available, but you can mail a bunch of documents to 666 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY.

5. The final settlement is reached. Sheraton agrees to send coupons for 5% off a future stay to the 11 people who sent in the proper paperwork, and to pay the $1.6 million legal fees (leaving them a profit of $58 million on the fraudulent fees).

By the way, lest you think this is a hypothetical example, as part of one of these settlements I received a voucher last week from Starwood Hotels for $8 off of the rack rate at any of 12 named Starwood hotels in Florida and Texas, provided I call a special 800 number when making the advance reservation. You can now insert your own joke at my expense.

This action has no class.

My E-mail Friends

Here are nicknames for my 10 friends who haven't figured out yet in 2006 how to send e-mail.

1. Old Subject Guy - Either doesn't know how or is too lazy to paste my address into a new e-mail, so he replies to something I sent him 6 months ago without changing the subject line
   
2. Bottom Feeder - Replies to my e-mail and inexplicably adds his comments all the way at the bottom of the e-mail
   
3. Thoughtful Idiot - Sends me the latest fake virus warning, but shows me how smart he is by adding "I know some of these are hoaxes, but better safe than sorry"
   
4. Dr. Pepper - Peppers his responses to my e-mail throughout the original, so I can enjoy hunting around for his insightful comments
   
5. Confucious - This person has a wonderfully thoughtful witticism in his signature. It grows more and more wonderful as I read the same quotation dozens of times in e-mail after e-mail.
   
6. Mystery Attachment Guy - Nothing says he cares like the mystery attachment he sends with every e-mail entitled att00001.txt, along with his .vcf data file.
   
7. Multimedia Dude - That e-mail he sends with the cute music and animation is not only hilarious for me, it was enjoyable to all of those around me.
   
8. Mr. No AIM - He is never logged on to AIM, so conducts "old school" chat by sending me an e-mail that says "hey, what's up". 3 days and 10 e-mails later I find out that he wanted to go out for lunch.
   
9. Important Dude - Flags every e-mail as "Important". Not sure why, seems like it is usually women who do this.
   
10. The Space Saver - Deletes out my original message in his reply, so I get a response to something I sent a week ago that just says "sounds good". The Space Saver sleeps well knowing that he saved a tree in cyberspace.

Why Didn't I Think of That?

A man was arrested in Miami for going door-to-door pretending to be a doctor and giving women free breast exams. It wasn't until one woman was asked to remove all her clothes and was given a purported genital exam (without rubber gloves) that she became suspicious. What is wrong with people? A doctor that makes house calls would make me immediately suspicious.

What a boob!

Atheism vs. Intelligent Design

I stumbled across an interesting website devoted to the defense of intelligent design (or more specifically Christianity) over atheism. This site is well developed in a sense that it includes a comprehensive list of questions/doubts an atheist might have about religion. The website attempts to use logical arguments for its cause, which is a refreshing change from arguments that use emotion or bible quotes. Unfortunately, I found many of the answers to the questions to be unsatisfactory and flawed.

I found this statement on "Absolute Proof of God's Existence" amusing...

No, God has not left His name etched onto the surface of planets. However, according to the Bible, you can get absolute proof of God's existence. One way to get proof is to die (which we will eventually all do). I do not recommend this method if you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Take a look at this website and let me know what you think. I'd enjoy some comments!

Strong Security

They have now gone so far with the security verification that no human can decipher the letters either...

Reason #46 Debit Cards Stink

I will use a credit card over a debit card any day. The concept of shelling out money from my bank account directly and immediately is disturbing.

Read this article for Reason #46 to dislike debit cards:

Man Is Charged $4,300 for Four Burgers


That really charges me up!

The Blind Spot Moron

It is impossible to pass another car without passing through its blind spot. However, if you happen to find yourself in somebody's blind spot, DON'T STAY THERE! If you maintain speed with another car but stay in the blind spot, you are a complete moron. If you see the person put on their blinker, suggesting that they might possibly be heading into your lane, and you still stay there, you are asking for trouble.





That really cranks my engine.

The Dangers of Truthiness

The word "truthiness" has recently been used by Stephen Colbert to define the "quality by which a person purports to know something emotionally or instinctively, without regard to evidence or to what the person might conclude from intellectual examination."

On his show, The Colbert Report, he uses this word to mock the current government administration...

"Consider Harriet Miers. If you 'think' about Harriet Miers, of course her nomination's absurd. But the president didn't say he 'thought' about his selection. He said this:

Bush: 'I know her heart.'

"Notice he didn't say anything about her brain? He didn't have to. He 'feels' the truth about Harriet Miers.

"And what about Iraq? If you 'think' about it, maybe there are a few missing pieces to the rationale for war. But doesn't taking Saddam out 'feel' like the right thing?..."

I believe that Stephen Colbert has hit the nail on the head. We are in some serious trouble. Not only are we tolerant of this government of truthiness, we are seeing it in other places.

Take, for example, Yahoo! Answers. On this website, users can answer questions posted by other users. Then, the person who posted the question gets to select the best answer! Who cares about the credibility of the source? Often the answer that "feels right" is selected.

That just doesn't feel right.

That Busy Guy

You go to pick up your office mail from the mail kiosk. You casually glance at your coworkers' mailboxes. There is always at least one box that is completely overstuffed. It looks like the person has not bothered to pick up their mail since 1986. You would think that this is the mailbox of the Sales Director for Asia who only comes into the office every six months. But it's not. It's the mailbox of somebody who comes in every day. You even see him walk by the mailbox every now and then, but he NEVER stops to pick up his mail.

What is up with that? Was this guy actually layed-off in 1993 but is still working because he never picked up his pink slip? Does this guy know that the dental plan changed last year? How does he function without ever reading his mail?

That really stuffs my envelope.

Why Bother

You are on the phone with a salesperson or a customer service agent and they are going to send you something by email, or perhaps snail email. They ask you to spell your name. You spell it for them very slowly and carefully. You get your email or package and there is your name, spelled incorrectly.

Why Bother?

OnStar

We are giving away all of our money in dribs and drabs called monthly fees. There is the cell phone, satellite radio, magazine subscriptions, TiVo, and the champion of all -- Onstar.

As bad as it is to pay a monthly fee for something that you will probably never need and is mostly redundant with a cell phone, the real rant here is Onstar's fear-based marketing. Even before 9/11, companies were acutely aware of the concept that fear sells. Onstar has taken this to a new level. I think we have all heard these commercials on radio and TV:

Onstar: This is Onstar.
Desperate Woman: I locked my keys in the car with my baby, and it is sinking in a lake and on fire! Also, I have a headache.
Onstar: OK, calm down and give me your VIN number.
DW: T36882402895458216829
Onstar: OK, you're all set. The doors are unlocked and I put some aspirin in the glove compartment.
DW: Thank you, OnStar!

So now I am a bad parent and can't sleep at night because I am not protected by Onstar. I think the commercials should really go more like this:

Onstar: This is Onstar
Desperate Woman: Help! My kids are driving me nuts, and we really need a vacation.
Onstar: OK, let me connect you with Travel Services. How much money do you have?
DW: Uh, none. We're actually in debt.
Onstar: You know, if you didn't sign up for Onstar 12 years ago you'd have enough for a Mediterranean Cruise.
DW: Oh.
Onstar: I went ahead and unlocked your car. You should go trade it in for a Hyundai.

That really pushes my button.

Cell-Phone Rave!

I suppose that I can't call this a rant and RAVE blog unless I actually rave about something (I prefer to rant).

For many months, I have been suggesting that it would be wonderful if your cell phone could connect to the internet through a Wi-Fi connection. There are so many Wi-Fi hot spots, why bother using the cell towers when you are in an urban area? You will get better reception and reduce your phone bill, especially if you have a VOIP account like Vonage.

Many of my friends thought I was nuts. "There is no way the cell phone providers would provide that capability, it cuts into their business." If that were true, I should have gone into business making Wi-Fi phones. However, I would have been trumped by the big boys. All the major carriers are about to provide Wi-Fi capable phones (see link). So there, nay-sayers.

That really vibrates my handset!

Mall Depression

I only had two goals for my trip to the mall this weekend; eat lunch and buy sneakers.

Walking along, I passed Lady Foot Locker and Kids Foot Locker until I arrived at Foot Locker, my sneaker-purchasing destination. Yes, there were three Foot Locker stores in a row. The first pair of sneakers I looked at in Foot Locker appeared feminine. I glanced up and saw that I was in the Ladys section. Ladys section? They have a whole store of ladys sneakers next door. I glanced over and saw a kids section as well. Sigh. I walked over to the mens sneakers. I found a pair I liked. They were in the "Classics" section. I felt old. At least I wasn't wearing black socks.

I went to the food court to get a burger. The menu was a picture menu of 4 different mouth watering burgers I could select from. All of them were topped with yummy seasame seed buns... at least, in the pictures they were. My burger was delivered in a plain, seedless bun. In fact, everybodys's burger was seedless. Fraud! I thought about complaining to the manager. It may only be a few seeds, but how dare they swell my hopes with false visions? I felt a little better after eating the burger (it was good) and decided to just rant on the blog and then move on with my life.

That really burns my buns.

I Want McFries, Please

Have you ever gone to McDonald's and been told that they are out of fries? Or to KFC and been told it will be 20 minutes for extra crispy chicken? There was this one KFC/Taco Bell I used to go to that would occassionaly be "out of Taco Bell". Out of Taco Bell? OUT OF TACO BELL? Savages!

How poorly managed do you have to be to run out of the stuff you sell every day? Why wouldn't every McDonald's keep at least a week's worth of fries stored in the freezer at all times? Don't these people realize that the only reason I ever walk into their establishment is because I have some undeniable craving for some specific junk food?

That really fries my potato.

Perils of Stock Ownership

When you buy a stock or mutual fund, you get a fancy prospectus with all sorts of exciting information. But no where in there do they warn you about any of these annoying things that are about to start happening after you purchase shares:

- You will be getting letters about once a month to announce to you the important fact that "We are happy to announce the following change to our Board of Directors: Replaced H. Whitworth Shipley with Woodruff Alabaster Bigglesby"

- You will be getting letters about once a year to announce "Widget Co. is happy to announce the spinoff of Widget Inc. and the merger of Widget Trust. you will receive 0.018 shares of common stock for each share of Widget Co. unless you inform us otherwise before March 1. Otherwise, your holdings will be converted to dividend shares. For additional information, please consult your tax attorney." (My tax attorney?)

- You will be getting letters about once every three years to announce "A class action lawsuit has been filed for all stockholders who purchased shares between July 9, 1994 and April 6, 1997. Please send all paperwork from that period to the above address. At the completion of the litigation, you may receive an amount between $0.04 and $0.07 per share unless you opt out of the settlement."

- You will get a thick envelope once per quarter with a quarterly report explaining that the reason the fund lost 4% while the benchmark went up 6% is that there were instabilities in the Middle East that affected the price of oil.

That really licks my envelope.

Why Does My Computer Lie To Me, Mr. Gates?

I am sure that this happens to you as well. I am sitting at my computer, I click an icon or try to move a window on the screen, and nothing happens. Or, at least, nothing happens quickly. My computer is "busy" thinking about something. I check the task manager and it says "System Idle Process" is using 99% of the CPU time. LIAR! Mr. Gates, why does Windows tell me nothing is going on when clearly my computer is extremely busy thinking about something? I believe that Windows arbitrarily decides which processes to display in the task manager and some remain hidden. What do you think about that Mr. Gates? How am I supposed to be a power user when you won't let me see what's going on. You are so lucky you run a monopoly.

P.S. My lawyer advises me to mention that everybody should disregard this rant. Windows is great, Windows is GREAT!

Enough with the Smokers' Protests

Currently, smokers in NJ are upset about a new proposed ban on smoking in bars and restaurants. I've had enough of the lame arguments against smoking bans. The smokers really have no reasonable arguments to support their cause.

"We have a right to smoke" - Since smoking is legal (assuming you are over 18), you sure do have a right to smoke. But you do not have a right to smoke in a bar or restaurant. You have a right to not wear a shirt, or shoes, but not in a restaurant. You have a right to masturbate, but not in a restaurant. This may be a crude point, but look at the facts...

	Smoking	Masturbation
Legal?	Yes	Yes
Enjoyable?	Yes	Yes
Vulgar?	To some	To some
Harms others?	YES	usually not

So, I believe it would be more appropriate to allow masturbation in public before smoking in public.

"Next, they will be taking away our right to smoke in our homes" - I don't allow people to smoke in my home. But I will stand in a protest line with you if they try to impose a ban on smoking in your private home. That is a completely different thing.

"I am addicted to smoking, it is a hardship to not smoke in public" - Hmm, if they told me I couldn't have coffee at work, I'd be very grumpy. However, you can chew nicotine gum or chew tobacco instead. You don't like that idea? Too bad. The harm you do to others by smoking is far worse than the inconvenience you suffer by having to seek alternative fixes.

That really burns my butt.

We Care...

The United States Postal Service was nice enough to let me know that they had problems deliving one of my holiday cards this season. The only piece they were able to salvage was the return address, which doesn't really do me a bit of good. I wonder who was supposed to receive this one? I guess the $50 Starbucks gift card is just gone. I suppose I could reuse the stamp, only now I need to cough up another 2 cents.



That really tears me to shreds...just my two cents.