The Evil Thieves of Subway Marketing

I think most people are familiar by now with the Subway "5 Dollar Foot-Long" campaign.  It has that annoying jingle that you will now be humming for the rest of the day (sorry).  The only problem with the offer is that it only applied to 5 or 6 of their less popular subs.

So I was excited to see the new limited-time offer of "5 Dollar ANY Foot-Long".  Here is the logo you see on TV and when you walk in the restaurant:

I went to Subway and ordered the Philly Steak and Cheese sub.  I was ready with my $5.25 when I arrived at the cashier.  It was then that she informed me that I owed exactly $8.49 for my $5 foot-long.  I pointed out the numerous signs in the store that said ANY foot-long sub for $5.  She said that the offer is "any sub except Philly Steak and Cheese".  Funny, I don't remember hearing that stipulation in the cute little jingle.

I'm sure there's some technicality that makes this advertising "legal", because they hid the word "regular" in the ad.  But clearly this marketing campaign is deceptive and morally wrong.  Therefore, to anyone reading this who believes in moral equivalence, I encourage you to take $3 worth of napkins the next time you go to Subway.  You might need them after you look at your receipt and throw up.

Hey Subway, I have a deal for you.  When I get to the cash register, I will give you ANY of the following bills ($10 bill excluded):

Two New Things to Hate about Vonage

Vonage recently increased my monthly VOIP phone service rate by 20%. In today's highly competitive phone service provider market, raising your rate by a ridiculously steep amount without providing any service enhancement whatsoever is not a good idea.

And, sticking with the two-per-post theme, why is it every time you install a new application on your computer, and it spews out spam icons on your desktop, one of them is always for Vonage?

That makes me 20% more outraged than usual.

Can You Hear Me Now, Bastards?

It is reported that mobile phone vendors have agreed to a universal power socket by 2012. All I can say is that it's about fraking time. There is absolutely no good reason to have non-standardized interfaces on such common devices. While they're at it, let's standardize the data port and handset interfaces as well (the article goes on to say this might happen too...someday).


That really gets me charged up.

Corner Roller

We were painting our basement stairs and needed a way to paint the corners that were too high up to reach with a paintbrush.  After breaking a rib using the Turtle Stool (topic for another day), we were seeking a solution that did not require ladders.

We were pleased to find the "Corner Roller" at Home Depot.  It screws into the end of a standard telescoping handle, so it appeared to be just what we needed:

There is only one problem with the Corner Roller - it does not paint corners.  The spongy material is too soft and it never gets all the way in to the corner, no matter what angle you try or how you push it.

Here is  a truly ironic picture of what the edges of our walls look like AFTER painting them with the corner roller:

I would like to invite the purchasers who work in the Home Depot painting division to come over my house and try to paint any corner with this thing.

Rave: Ask A Ninja

When I was kid, I dreamed of being a ninja. It was a vocational interest that many young boys have had. I practiced stealthiness, trained at throwing stars (shuriken) and read many books on the practical aspects of being an elite assassin. Alas, as an adult I gave up on my childhood dream and settled for a desk job.

My hat is off to the guys at Ask a Ninja. They figured out a way to make a living as a Ninja. The Ask a Ninja videos are some of the funniest clips I've ever seen. Their answer to the question "Why Ninja's, Why Now?" summarizes it all.. "because ninjas are cool."

"I look forward to killing you soon."

Pepsi Heartburn

# of Pepsi "the Cube" packs purchased: ~8



# of Pepsi "the Cube" packs that open properly: none

Dulles Fuddruckers

While waiting for a flight in Dulles International Airport, I decided to have a quick lunch at Fuddruckers.

1) After ordering my burger, they gave me a pager. I would think that one place you wouldn't want to wait for your meal would be the airport. What an odd place for a Fuddruckers.

2) I noticed that the plastic forks were encased in plastic wrap, apparently to keep them sanitary, but the knives were bare. Both utensils touch your food. What gives?