Pizza Hut Phone Survey

We almost never get calls from Telemarketers - maybe 1 call per month. So we were disappointed to get a call last week from Pizza Hut. It was a survey. We realized after the call that they must have obtained our phone number from the files of the local restaurant, captured when we placed an order. It is unfortunate that they require a phone number to place an order, and then use it against us by giving it to their Telemarketers. This was annoying, but tolerable.


What really takes the cake is a SECOND call we got a few days later. It was Pizza Hut calling to evaluate the Pizza Hut survey! "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the professionalism of the survey call you received?" I'm not making this up.

I guess it's only a matter of time until we get another call to evaluate the survey evaluation service.

Avoid Creative Software Like the Plague

A while ago I purchased a Creative web cam and had great difficulty installing the software. The most annoying thing about it was the fact that it isn't just one application. As the installer was running I realized that it was actually running several sub-installers and that, in all likelihood, none of these sub-applications were developed by the same software team or tested together. Well, it turns out the software was a complete mess, crashing my computer, slowing everything down, and not providing the kind of web cam interface I had hoped for.

I finally gave up and decided to remove the software. This involved running 5 different uninstall programs since each sub-program was installed separately. And now, when I reboot my computer, I get an error message because some Creative dll file is missing (V0230Pin.dll). I've had no luck tracking down a way to fix this, and Creative's website support is simply awful.

Lest you think I am over-reacting to one bad experience, my girlfriend recently purchased a Creative mp3 player. Sure enough, the software installer CD installed 5 different programs (with matching desktop icons) several of which didn't seem to work at all.

I will never purchase another Creative product again. I recommend that you don't either.

About The Weather

I went to Weather.com to get a weather forecast. If you have ever been to one of these websites, you know that it takes about 5 minutes to parse through all of the options, ads, and polls so you can maybe get lucky and find a forecast.

But on this occasion, while hunting for the "Forecast" button, I got snagged by a question in the sidebar about the rules of golf. The question was regarding the penalty for accidentally knocking your ball off the tee. I took my guess and clicked the answer button to see the correct answer.

What I got for an answer was this:

Do you notice anything? It's a poll! Since when are the rules of golf a poll? It doesn't even say what the correct answer is. (The white answer is the one I "voted" for.)

Now I need to go to another site to get a simple weather forecast, and then search for The Rules of Golf website to get the answer to my question.

That really rains on my parade.

Verizon Center

Dear Verizon Center,

I want to thank you for having a parking garage directly underneath the stadium, how convenient! Charging $20 seems a bit much for parking at a Capitals game, but I at least felt confident that I would be getting quality service.

I was a little nervous when the parking attendant made me double park and leave my keys in the car, but he gave me a claim ticket, so I know that they understood my concern and were going to carefully inspect the claim ticket to make sure I was the rightful owner before letting me get back into the car after the game.

Here is the part that puzzles me, WHERE THE FRACK WAS THE PARKING ATTENDANT AFTER THE GAME? There was not a single garage employee anywhere to be found when I entered my car and drove off. It seems like you perfected the "give out the claim ticket" part of the job, but failed on the "watch over the car and safely return to proper owner" part.

Next time, I'm leaving with a nicer car...

Diamond Settlement

This will be a fun rant, because it includes three groups that annoy everyone on a regular basis:

1. Lawyers
2. Diamond Retailers
3. Web Designers

So I saw an ad in the paper regarding a class action settlement involving anyone who purchased a diamond in the last 13 years.

I went to the website to print out the claim form. The site STRONGLY ADVISED me to fill out the claim form online. Ok, great. The only problem is that I got the error message: "Your browser does not accept cookies". I got this message in both Internet Explorer AND Firefox, even though I have cookies properly enabled in both:


In summary, a bunch of lawyers are going to make millions of dollars of fees on this class action settlement regarding unfair diamond sales practices, and they don't care that no one can actually file a claim due to a lack of proper testing by their web designers.

Screw you all - I figured out how to print out the claim form! I will be laughing all the way to the bank, 18 months from now, to cash my settlement check for $3.07.

Truth in Packaging

I'm not sure who is the genius Circuit City package designer who decided they should print the list of contents on the outside of the envelope. In late December. But I think it's a safe bet that this individual does not have any kids.

Quiznos

I stopped by Quiznos the other night to take out 2 toasty subs. Yum yum.

When I pulled on the door, it was locked. The employees were all standing there at the counter. I glanced at my watch - 8:58pm. I glanced at the hours posted: close - 9:00pm. I figured if I stand there for a minute, they might let me in, or tell me that they were closed. They just stared at me for a while. Eventually I left. When I got to the car, the car clock said 9:00.

So, my punctuality award of the day goes to Quiznos. They do not waste any time locking the door on Saturday night.

Too Many Fonts

There Are Too Many Damn Fonts! Blogspot has Eight Built-in Choices!

But the most frustrating thing is selecting a font in MS Word. As far as I know, everybody in the entire universe uses Times New Roman, Arial, or if feeling a little crazy...maybe Courier.

There are so many choices it's overwhelming! Who has time to figure out which font would be the perfect choice? I mean, after 5 minutes I might be pretty sure I wanted Lucida, but do I want Lucida Bright, Lucida Fax, or Lucida Sans?

I want to go back to a simpler time, when all we had was that fixed spacing system font that made us all sound like robots.

Happy Thanksgiving

Something I notice every year about thanksgiving ads is that there is usually a fully cooked and uncarved turkey sitting on the table.


For example, look at the picture above I found in an ad. Is anyone planning to eat this turkey? Everyone has a full plate and has started eating. Has our level of decadence and waste reached the point that we roast an extra turkey for display purposes?

And what drugs did they give to those kids? They're not complaining and it looks like they might even eat some of that food. This is setting the bar too high for those of us in the real world.

I just want batteries!

Radio Shack is probably my second least favorite electronics store (just above you-know-who). The selection is limited and the sales people are obnoxious.
Let me summarize my last visit...

"Hello Sir, how can we help you?"
[Walking briskly past the bored sales people at the front of the store...] "I just need some batteries."
[Oh No! The batteries are behind the counter, I NEED to ask for customer service] "Can I get your cheapest pack of "C" batteries?"
"We have these 2-packs for $3.99, but we are offering a special deal on the 10-packs..."
"No thanks, I'll take the 2-pack"
"It's really the best value to take the 10-pack..."
"No thanks, I really only need one battery."
"Can I have your zip code?"
[Sigh. I just wanted batteries] "20xxx"
"Your name?"
[I'm feeling generous, so I hand her my credit card. She can copy my name from that. Don't they automatically have that info if you pay by credit card? I've given my info out before at a Radio Shack, I'm pretty sure. They seem to lose it over and over again.]
[Sale person types on a keyboard for 30 seconds]"Can I get your address and phone#?"
"You don't need that info to sell me batteries, do you?"
"I just need it for our 'system'. We use it to send you coupons and special deals."
"No thanks."
"OK, no problem. Sorry about the battery deal thing, we are required to inform our customers about our great promotions..."
"Yeah, I know, can I have my batteries now?"

I really don't blame the salespeople. They are just doing their job. It's the corporate policy of demanding information from people and harassing them with assistance that drives me nuts. This is somewhat ironic, because you can't get ANY assistance at you-know-where.

That really drains my batteries.

For Your Safety

I am getting sick of companies telling us that their incompetence is "for your convenience" or "for your safety".

Statement	Translation
For your safety, the flight is being delayed 30 minutes for an additional inspection	We scheduled our flights too close together
For safety, please re-enter your password	We couldn't get our system to transfer your information from one department to another
For your safety, no beverages are allowed in the facility	We want you to pay $2 for our water bottles
For your convenience, we have provided...	So you can do it yourself and we can hire fewer people, we have provided...
For your convenience, press '1' for our automated help system	Please try to figure out your problem so we don't have to talk to you

Hotmail

Is anybody else out there as annoyed with Microsoft Hotmail as I am?

I am a long time user of Hotmail. I was actually a big fan of their protocol (which isn't pop or imap) at first. Now, I feel like I am being rewarded for my support of Microsoft with pain and misery.

For starters, their proprietary format (I'll call it proprietary since nobody else uses it) stinks. You can't access your email using 3rd party mail readers. To make matters even worse, they discontinued support of their own tool, Outlook Express, which has been my Hotmail reader of choice. When I got a Vista machine, I came to the painful realization that I couldn't install Outlook Express, period.

Microsoft "replaced" Outlook Express with Windows Live Desktop. I've been using this tool in Vista for several months and it doesn't work properly. Oh, that's probably because it's in Beta. WTF? You release an operating system and it doesn't come with a fully functioning mail reader??? SHAME ON YOU, MICROSOFT. They recently released a new version of the tool, which seems to work better. But, I had a real hard time finding this update. That's because, when you click on "Check for Updates" in the old mail tool, it takes you to the generic "Windows Update" web interface (which we all know is a pain-in-the-ass). After letting that spin it's wheels for a few minutes, it tells you there are several "critical security updates", but no Windows Live update. That's right, they don't actually push down the updates through Windows Update, even though that is where they tell you it should be. I had to search on Microsoft's support pages to find the download and install it manually.

Microsoft really wants you to use the web interface instead, so they can force their advertisements on you. This may work for some people, but I like to have access to my email when I am offline. The other problem is that the web interface, surprise, surprise, works optimally in Internet Explorer. Those of us who use Firefox can kiss off, apparently.

I've been shifting my focus away from Hotmail and using email accounts provided by others. Microsoft has given me no other choice.

Hotmail should be put in the junk mail folder.

New Fangled Copiers Still Suck Ass

In case you forgot why new fangled copiers suck ass, look here.

Today, I wanted to print one little paragraph of a huge document. So, I highlighted the text, hit the print button, then hit OK on the pop-up print menu. What I forgot to do, is change the option to "print selection" from the default print option. Taking me at my word, the printer started to print the whole 100 page plus document.

Back in the old days, you used to be able to abort print jobs, but not anymore. The buffer on the printer (or maybe the printer server, I don't know, I'm not an IT person) is so large that the job quickly vanished from my computer's printer manager. I quickly ran over to the printer, but still couldn't figure out how to abort the job. At least, there wasn't an obvious way. There are 32 buttons on the printer, plus a touch screen LCD with layers and layers of deep menus and options.

It doesn't help that our printer also servers as our copier and there were two unhappy coworkers standing around waiting to copy and shouting "who printed a 100 page document"!

That really overloads my buffer!

That's a Wrap

I have had a hard time finding good wrapping paper. I recently wrapped a present for a dear loved one only to find out that you could clearly identify what the present was after wrapping. I'm not talking about shape (like, "oh, it's a football"). I mean you could read what was on the box.

There are only a few requirements in designing wrapping paper:

• Should come in sizes generally larger than the typical gift
• Should not spontaneously combust
• Should not be see-through!

Come on, wrapping paper manufacturers, get it right!

FYI, I won't tell you which manufacturer made my crappy see-through paper, but I will tell you that the name rhymes with Tall-Shark. I've probably said too much.

It Was Only a Matter of Time

I am the world champion of people forgetting my name. I wish I had a dime for every time my best friend or my parents see me in the mall and say "hey, guy, how are ya?". But today I reached a new low, as my name was forgotten by the Peerflix auto-mailer name insertion query:

Maybe you have to order a certain number of videos before they bother to put your real name in their spam e-mail. If I order 100 videos, maybe they'll even send me some spam on my birthday.

Most Obnoxious Website, EVER!

This website has got to be the most obnoxious site I've ever seen. You've probably seen other ones like it. They all have the same pattern:

1) Offers amusing or useful information, but requires you to fill out a questionnaire to determine the results. It could be titled "What is your IQ?", "Is your lover cheating on you?", etc.

2) After spending a few minutes filling out the survey, there is a button to"Click for Results".

3) You will NEVER get results.

This particular website will first ask you to fill out a form of personal information while they "generate the results". There will be no results. It then takes you to a screen where you have the option to participate in some type of deal. What makes this site particularly obnoxious is that you must agree to at least ONE of the deals before you can move on. I went through three pages of that crap (with fake info, of course) before I gave up.

I will give $10 to the first person who can send me verifiable proof that it is actually possible to get to the results page for the quiz.

If you really want to be amused by this website, check out it's Privacy Policy.

Glitz Amok

This website takes an interesting compilation of data (list of the 86800 most frequently used words) and displays it in the most frustrating and useless way possible. Sure, it looks neat to see the words in relative size based on frequency of use, but...

- Mashing the words together without spaces makes them harder to read (even with the alternating colors)

- You can only see a few words at a time, and clicking the scroll arrow increments the list BY ONLY ONE WORD.

This site is a good example of prioritizing form over function.

Interestingly enough, Glitz and Amok both fall in the middle of the pack in frequency (~41k). Some of my favorite words (canoodle, syzygy) don't even make the list.

What Happens When a Website Dies?

If a company goes under and puts its web domain up for sale, wouldn't it be tempting for a cyber-squatter to purchase the site and advertise for companies offering similar products? Damn straight it is. This happens all the time, and it drives me nuts. I try to open an old website saved in my bookmarks only to determine, after a few glances, that it has been replaced with a link-farm site.

Take a look at this website, for example. This used to be a website for a company selling laser products. (I work with lasers, hence a laser company reference). It looks like a real website, but it's not. The first hint might be that they offer links to Jewish Dating as well as Laser Equipment websites. What a peculiar combination. I hate these websites. They'd be slightly more palatable if they at least stated in bold print that they were advertisers and the old site (the one with real content) was expired.

Sigh. I miss the old days when you simply got a Page Not Found Error. You can't even find that any more. In addition to cybersquatters, your ISP is also probably doing some kind of forced advertising crap. For example, when on my company's network, if I type in an invalid url, i get redirected to a website hosted by my ISP (USLEC.net). It tells me the site I was looking for was not found, but also offers me "cool" links to Yahoo search and other miscellaneous junk. In their defense, at least they offer an opt out.

Grr.

I Am Literally Beside Myself

I am completely sick and tired of everyone using the word 'literally'.

First, there were the people that mixed the word in from time to time. They used it wrong, but you let it slide. They said it was "literally raining cats and dogs". You just smiled politely. You didn't want to be a grammar cop, always correcting everyone. So they kept doing it, more and more.

Then one day everyone started using it wrong almost all of the time, so much so that the dictionary changed the definition so that you can use it either way. Outrageous. But life must go on. Fine. Whatever.

But now it is completely out of control. You can't listen to anyone talk for 5 minutes without literally this and literally that. Enough! It adds nothing additional to the sentence. You don't even care if they're using it right or wrong anymore. You just want them to stop.

So I am pleading with these 'literally' people. Just drop it.

I am literally burning up about this.

Take 10% Off At Macy's, Maybe?

I recently signed up for a Macy's credit card in order to take advantage of a promotional discount offer for a large purchase (my comfy new mattress that is so tall I get nosebleeds climbing into bed). Macy's has since started sending me numerous "special" card-member-only coupons. The coupons look like great deals until you read the fine print:

Macy's 10% off men's apparel
* exclusions apply; see back for details

Back:
Excludes Impulse, Tommy Bahama, Polo/Ralph Lauren,Lacoste, cosmetics, fragrances, watches, Tommy Hilfiger, Michael Kors, American Rag,I.N.C.,Tasso Elba, Calvin Klein, Kenneth Cole, Guess, Nautica, Claiborne, Material is London,DKNY, Diesel, Buffalo, Perry Ellis, Joseph Abboud, Hugo Boss,Mani, Levi's, Dockers, The North Face and Burton Snowboarding. Not valid on morning specials, and Super Buys, Everyday Values, previous purchases, services, Gift Cards, selected leased departments, special orders, bridal kiosks, restaurants, macy's wedding channel.com, macy's.com or payments on credit accounts. Cannot be combined with any savings pass/coupon, extra discount, or credit offer, except opening a new Macy's account. Federated Department Store employees not eligible. EXTRA SAVINGS APPLIED TO REDUCED PRICES. MCE

Wow, that's a lot of exclusions! In fact, I can't name a brand of Men's apparel that isn't on that list. It is unreasonable to offer a coupon with that many exclusions. I'm gonna bang my head on a display if I have to keep looking down at the exception list as I stroll through the clothing department looking for ANYTHING that isn't on the list.

I am guessing that MCE stands for "Most Clothes Excluded".

That really charges me up!

Yahoo: Bringing You Spam in New and Improved Ways!

Yahoo introduced a new feature to their web mail. They have integrated Yahoo messenger into the interface so that you can chat without having to use a separate client. It only took a few hours after I opened my mail client to receive the following unsolicited chat message:

From: ychat.complaint_agent_lml
Message: This is an automated message from the Yahoo! abuse department. We have received multiple complaints concerning your account. This constitutes a violation of our Terms of Service Agreement. You must respond to the following complaints to keep your Yahoo! account from being deactivated. http://rds.yahoo.com/abuse.department/SIG=10sqj7nbu/*http://2ch2.net/.l?=otwI

In case it isn't clear from the message, this is a bogus "violation warning" that will redirect you to another site (which I did not follow and I recommend that you don't either).

Thanks Yahoo!

Going Postal...

I don't send a lot of mail, but when I do, I usually find the experience unpleasant and annoying. The post office has become a place of frustration and hassles. Here are some of my biggest beefs:


1) Stamps

What is the denomination of this stamp (on right)? I HAVE NO CLUE. I am sure that I remembered for at least a week after I purchased a roll. But I have better things to do than remember the face value of stamps. Put the denomination on every fracking stamp! I don't care if the rates just went up. Plan ahead. (Note: They are doing it again with the latest 41 cent stamps which have no denomination on them. Sigh.)

Also, why do we need a million different stamps? I don't need Star Wars stamps, or Breast Cancer stamps, or Florida Panther stamps. Just give me stamps with big fat numbers representing the denomination. What possesses people to feel the need to personalize their stamps? IT'S JUST A STAMP.

2) Postal Nazis

Like the infamous Seinfeld soup Nazi, the post office has become increasingly restrictive in what it will accept as a first class letter. It used to be that all you had to do was make sure it weighed under 1 oz, slap on your stamp, and your letter was sent happily on its way. Now, they tack on additional surcharges (currently $0.17) for any of the following...

• Contains items that cause it to be unflat (pens, trinkets, etc)
• Is too rigid (does not bend easily)
• Has clasps, strings, buttons
• Is square (!!!)
• The length divided by height is less than 1.3 or more than 2.5.

I don't know about you, but now I always measure my envelope dimensions before sending a Hallmark card. I know the reason for this is that they machine process the mail, but who wants to have to go through a checklist before determining postal rates? Just get rid of the surcharge and lump the extra cost of handling non-machine-sortable items into the first class rate. Oh yeah, don't try to staple your envelope (or folded survey card) shut. They will actually send somebody to your home to kick your dog if you do.

3) Marketing Genius

The USPS must have hired a marketing guru to come up with the mail service options. I say this, because your mailing choices are more complicated than a David Lynch movie plot. Take a look for yourself.

This is my typical experience at the post office:

Me: (to myself) (I want to send this package as cheaply as possible.)
Me: "I'd like to ship this package."
Clerk: "How would you like to ship it?"
Me: (I don't know, I just want it shipped as cheaply as possible.)
Me: "What are my choices?"
Clerk: "You can send it Express Mail® for fast delivery or Priority Mail® for 2-3 day delivery"
Me: "Oh, Express Mail® will get it there overnight?"
Clerk: "Or the next day. We don't guarantee 1-day delivery."
Me: (That sounds expensive, and if it takes 2 days, it's not any better than Priority Mail®. Those are my only choices, Express or Priority? I want "Standard" shipping!)
Me: "I guess I'll go with Priority Mail®. That will be delivered in 2-3 days, right?" (I still feel like the clerk is holding out on me and there is actually a cheaper rate. I just need to say the secret pass phrase...)
Clerk: "It could take longer. It's 2-3 days on average. Do you want insurance on that?"
Me: (Insurance? WTF? Are you planning to lose my package? Does the insurance actually reduce the chance you will lose it? Sigh.) "No"
Clerk: "Do you need delivery confirmation? Would you like a roll of stamps today? Would you like the Hello Kitty or the Andy Kaufman special edition stamps..."
Me: "No, No, No, No....ARGH!!!!"

More Convenient ATM Deposits?

Bank of America has introduced a new and "improved" process for depositing cash and checks at ATM machines. They call this new approach more convenient, but it is decidedly not so. Let me give you a comparison based on my recent experience...

Old Way
1) I drive up to ATM machine.
2) I grab an envelope (50/50 chance of box being empty - a smarter person would keep spares in the car).
3) I put ALL my checks and cash in envelope.
4) I shove the envelope into the ATM machine.
5) I drive away happy.



New Way
1) I drive up to the ATM machine.
2) I try to insert my first check into the machine. It gets rejected. After 5 tries I give up.
3) I try to insert my second check into the machine. It is hard to align it with the slot because the ends curled up from sitting in my wallet, and it's also kinda windy out.
4) After I straighten out my check and carefully align is using both hands (carefully stretching out my car window), I manage to convince the ATM machine to accept my check. And I also get it to accept another one!
5) I start on my fourth check, which gets rejected 10 times. The car behind me honks impatiently.
6) I give up on the two checks that failed and pull over and park.
7) I head to the ATM machine in the lobby of the bank to give that a try.
8) I insert my ATM card and see "This machine is not able to provide a receipt, do you want to continue anyway?". I hit cancel.
9) I head to the counter. I first look for deposit slips in the lobby but can't find any.
10) I tell the cashier that I'd like to deposit the two checks.
11) He asks "Do you have a deposit slip?" No.
12) He asks "What is your account #?" I don't memorize my account#, that is why I usually use the ATM machine.
13) He agrees to deposit my checks with just my ATM card and no deposit slip (the silver lining to the bad experience).
14) I make a promise to myself to switch banks.

The Kingston Random Rebate

Ok, everyone hates rebates. They are pure evil. Companies do everything in their power to prevent you from getting your rebate.

But my friends at Kingston have come up with a new twist on the rebate war. I purchased a 512MB flash drive for $27, with a $27 rebate. I promptly sent in all of the paperwork. The claim was denied, after 5 weeks, because they lost one of the items I sent in. I sent the item in again. 4 weeks later, I called to check in. They said it was approved, and they are sending me a check for $9. I said "Excuse me, the rebate is for $27". Apparently their thorough analysis concluded that my paperwork qualified for $9. As annoyed as I was when rebates were just evil - now I need to further cope with the fact that they are evil AND arbitrary.

All I can envision is a room full of monkeys wearing little Kingston hats, throwing darts at a board to determine an amount to send for my rebate. Or some intern sitting at a desk, crossing out numbers and writing smaller ones until a supervisor nods yes.

Another day, another reason to hate rebates.

Shopping for Clothes

Like probably most men, I HATE shopping for clothes. My objective is to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible, and I often give up in frustration if I can't find anything fast. And if you do find something, it is disappointing to determine that they don't have it in your size or it doesn't fit. Stores make no effort to simplify the process.

Here are some suggestions for clothing retailers to make more sales by making it less frustrating to shop:

1) Put up a sign that indicates what sizes are available. I can't tell you how many time I have searched piles and piles of pants only to find that the store doesn't even CARRY my size in that brand. Some stores have charts, most do not. And make it easy to identify the size. If I have to spend 20 seconds per item searching for the size, I might go on a rampage before I finish searching the entire rack.

2) Make sizes STANDARD. Two pieces of clothing with the same size should fit the same. It's not rocket science. If the electronics industry kept such poor standards we'd all still be listening to 8-tracks and playing Atari.

3) Have a bin in the fitting room area for us to discard clothes that we try on but don't want to purchase. You don't want me trying to refold a shirt. I promise that I won't remember where I got it and will just shove it any random shelf when nobody is watching. Even libraries are smart enough to realize that patrons should not be trusted to restock the shelves.

4) Make sure that the shelves are restocked properly every day. Clothes should be arranged by size and brand. Fix the mess that the patrons made the previous day. Of course, if you have a discard bin as mentioned above, keeping the stock in order will be easier.

5) Stop the practice of Mystery Pricing.

I don't like the way that sizes up!

Worthless eTrade

I decided to sell a few stocks and close my eTrade account, since their annual fees and commissions make it impossible to get any more returns than I can get from a savings account.

This is not as easy as you might expect.

One of my stocks has a value of $0. It's not even something I purchased - it's one of those mystery stocks that got created when there was a merger, or spinoff, or something. Well, I can't close my account until I liquidate these shares. And the only way to liquidate these shares is to print out a paper form ("Worthless Securities Authorization Form") and mail it in to them. And, by the way, there is a $5 charge to liquidate my worthless security:

Once I liquidate my worthless security, and sell everything ($12 commission for each), then I have to figure out how to transfer the funds to another account. Then I can ask them to close my account. Of course, they'll probably have hit me for two or three more annual fees by then.

Please Select Your Country

I am willing to embrace the flat world and its global market. However, this does not mean that I want to sift through a list of EVERY FREAKING COUNTRY to select United States from the bottom of the list on a web form.





This company did the list in an intelligent way, listing the most likely countries of origin on the top:



There are many examples of other ridiculous pull-down lists as well. Another one that really annoys me is time zone selection. Blogspot, for example, gives you over 150 time zones to chose from for your blog. As far as I know, there are only 24 possible hours of the day it could be at any given location at any given time. What ridiculous pull-down lists drive you mad?

That really...

Makes me mad!Gets my panties in a bunch!Burns my moustache!Pisses me off!Rubs me the wrong way!Ruffles my feathersDoesn't fly with me!Isn't Kosher!Taxes my patience!Crashes my hard drive!Bursts my bubble!Stinks!Sucks!Blows!Makes me flip!Pushes my buttons!Burns my potatoes!Raises my blood pressure!Sours my milk!Sticks in my craw!Doesn't add up right!Irks me!Blows my fuse!Grr!Are you still reading this?Move along now!Go back to work!

Apple iPod Incompatible With Polarized Sunglasses

As the weather gets nicer, I found myself outside more, enjoying my iPod. It's only now that I've discovered that I can't see the display in bright daylight when I am wearing my sunglasses. That is because I wear polarized sunglasses, and the iPod display, being liquid crystal (LCD), is also polarized. They oriented the polarization of the display screen to be at a slant with respect to the normal viewing angle. This means that the display is only roughly half as bright as it should be, unless I tilt the iPod at a funky angle.

Apple's engineers must be lazy. I can't think of a good reason why they didn't oriented the screen for maximum brightness when viewed horizontally. They went to such an effort to make the screen super bright, so that you can enjoy it in daylight. Did they not expect you to wear sunglasses? Maybe they are working on iShades (coming out in August) that will be more compatible with the iPod.

I wonder if the screens are installed randomly (though I seriously doubt it)? Does anybody else have the same problem with their display? I will be examining my friends' iPods closely.



For what it's worth, I checked my GPS unit display and it is set up properly for full brightness when viewed horizontally. Kudos Garmin!

Please Consult Your Tax Advisor

I am completely sick of advertisements that say "please consult your tax advisor".

First of all, these companies are just making this disclaimer so they can say anything they want in their marketing campaign. "HOME EQUITY LOANS - FULLY DEDUCTIBLE" (to determine deduction eligibility, please consult your tax advisor)


Newsflash: We are normal people! We are not rich marketing executives. I do not have a team of advisors. The only advisor in my house advises me twice a week to take out the trash. I have never had a tax advisor. And if I did, he'd charge me an arm and a leg to find out that your scheme is not tax deductible because I am not blind and disabled. I don't even know anyone who has a tax advisor. (The guy at the mall who, once a year, charges you $150 to punch your W-2 into a computer does not count).

Search for "consult your tax advisor" on the web and you will get 694,000 hits. All of them are people trying to sell something to us that we are not smart enough to understand. I am going to start selling a set of car tires that are guaranteed to last for 300,000 miles. I will include a disclaimer that says "consult your hydrocarbon polymer engineer".

Worst Passover Math EVER

Happy Passover!

Manischewitz may have the best Matzo Ball Mix around, but they sure aren't any good at math. Looking at the nutritional facts, it's clear that a package makes about 18 matzo balls. Then again, looking at the back of the box, you get a different story. First of all, is a "package" a packet, or a carton? Apparently 12 (or 24?) is about 18. Which is it???

This really isn't Kosher!

AMF Village Lanes

I took my children to AMF Village Lanes for an afternoon of bowling, along with their cousin who was staying with us for the week.





The first issue is that they would not take my coupon. Even though they are clearly listed on the website I went to as "AMF Village Lanes", they said they were privately owned and thus could not honor the coupon. I don't think it would kill them to honor our "Buy one kids game, get one free" coupon, to drum up some loyal local business. So I guess they don't mind the prestige of the AMF name, except when it comes to taking my coupon.

The bigger issue was when we violated the snack policy. Since my kids generally don't eat 3-day old hot dogs and beer, I took some Nutri-grain bars and juice boxes out of my backpack for the kids to eat. We went over to the designated tables, to make sure we wouldn't get food in the bowling area (even though this would have only added to the crushed chips and other debris that was already there next to the lane when we arrived). The alley guy came over and told us we would have to throw out our snacks because there is "No outside food or drink" permitted in the premises. (By the way, outside cigarettes are clearly not a problem). I told him he could try to take the juice box away from my 3-year old. Then he gave us the other option, which was to take it outside. So the four of us go outside the side door and sit on the asphalt in the parking lot eating our snack. A few minutes later, the guy comes out and says we can't take bowling shoes outside, so we will have to take off the shoes or go back inside. We went back in and the 3-year old hid in the corner to finish his snack bar while his cousin acted as "look-out".

By the way, for some very funny discussion about Village Lanes, look at some of the comments on this bowling2u page. I think Heather sums it up best with her commentary on 11/3/06. I won't spoil it for you, but she manages to precisely describe the decor, staff, activities, clientele, pricing, and equipment in one short paragraph.

Dear Microsoft Access

Dear Microsoft Access,

I just selected this database and clicked to open it. So can you please stop asking me again whether I want to open it? I have already thought about it, and I'm sure I want to open the file.

I know that sometimes files may not be safe to open. Thank you for the reminder. And thank you for reminding me every time I open this file. So can you please just open it now?

Love,
Mike