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Friday, May 22, 2009

Lost Dog Rant/Rave

I recently received a robocall for a lost dog (Mango) in my neighborhood. A company called FindToto will send out robocalls with a description of your pet and your contact info. The website given on the phone is, even though it redirects to I am guessing they use the .org address because it makes them sound more like a non-profit and less like a commercial business.

You can decide how much you love your pet by choosing one of the following calling options:

  • Alert Package A - 500 calls - $95
  • Alert Package B - 1,000 calls - $175
  • Alert Package D - 1,500 calls - $225
  • up to...
  • Alert Package F - 10,000 calls - $875
The website claims the owner was inspired to create the service after their cat, Cutie McPretty, ran away. I'm betting that Cutie intentionally ran under a car to end the misery of having that name.

The worst part is, this service is exempt from the do-not-call registry. Ironically, they are not providing YOU a service when they call you. You are actually the product they are selling. In some sense, this is worse than a telemarketer robocall.

I feel bad for my neighbor who lost the dog, really I do. But robocalls are evil, no matter the cause. Pretty soon, we will all be receiving a few robocalls a day for lost pets, lost trash cans, "hey, can you bring in my mail while I'm on vacation", "do you have a power drill I can borrow", or "please close the shades when walking around naked".

Please, don't use this service. Put up some signs instead. I am offering a new counter-service. For only $5, I will call your neighbor back and tell them off for using robocalls.

Good news, at least, Mango was found.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Scott's WaterSmart Grass Seed

On TV yesterday, I saw this commercial for Scott's new WaterSmart grass seed.  In case you have not seen the commercial, it chronicles the tragedy of 3 homeowners who cannot successfully grow grass because they plant seed and then keep forgetting to water it.

Apparently, society's solution to this problem is to pull some of our top research scientists from the fields of biofuel, ethanol, and bioengineering.  We then re-focus them on developing a grass seed with a special coating so it can grow anywhere, even on the lawns of morons.

Hooray for capitalism!